(La danse est une conversation: version résumée française ci-dessous1)

Dance2 is a conversation. It really is. Most metaphorical analogies you can only do so much with, you very quickly reach their limits. Sometimes the whole value of a metaphor is where it breaks down. But many questions about dance are easy to answer if you ask “what would happen if this were a real conversation?”

An easy one: is dance seduction?

Yeah it can be. But is seduction the sole reason we talk to people? Do you only ever engage young, thin, good looking people in conversation? With regard to gender roles, do you only ever talk to people of your preferred gender/sex/orientation? Should dancing be all that different?

Another one: what is leading and following about?

Here the metaphor gets more abstract and stretched. There are also many other ways of thinking of lead and follow. If there were a lead in a conversation, I think they would be the one who picks and changes or suggests the topic. No more. A good conversation will look for mutually agreeable topics and let the rest flow from there. Sometimes when one person drones on and on about the same subject it’s boring. Or when they tell the same story to everyone. If I’m talking about how dance is a conversation and you’re all “yep, uh-huh, nod”, that can be cool too. But in conversation as in dance, I really would rather learn more about the other person and feel less responsible for “bringing the fun”.

The music can fit in various ways into this metaphor. You can think of it as a theme within which to pick topics:

Music: Horses!
Lead: ok, um horse-racing?
Follow: uh sure…
Lead: betting and all that stuff.
Follow: um…
Lead: there was that film: The Sting. That was about gambling and horses.
Follow: didn’t that have Robert Redford in it?
Lead: yeah! And you know what other movie had Robert Redford in? The Horse Whisperer!
Follow: that was a good movie. I cried so hard.
Music: Parrots!
Lead: I’m… not sure how that’s related to the Horse Whisperer.
Follow: I can tell you exactly how they’re related!

I have a friend, whenever some unexpected segue happens and I’m all “how’s that related to the price of tea in China?” she answers “you really want to know, ok, I’ll tell you [long improvised story about how the price of tea in china is literally related to our topic of conversation]”. It will come as no surprise for you to learn that she is also a great dance partner. Just like in conversation, the brilliant wittiness of a good partner is to take an idea and roll with it. Which brings me to my last point.

Is social dancing Art?

Yes! Just like a good conversation is a wonderful piece of art. It’s not something that will go down in history, its topic might just be the weather or gossip or sport. But it is delightful, it is in the moment, and is a small slice of what it means to be human. “That’s what she said” can easily be overdone, but just like a good stomp off, done just at the right moment, it’s perfect. Coming in 30 seconds later with “and another thing…” is not an option. The conversation has moved on. The sheer ephemerality of these conversations is what renders them so precious.

So dance is like a conversation?

It’s worth noting how dance conversations are different from conversations in a pub. They are limited in time (so If someone is droning on and on about their work, you can just enjoy it, safe in the knowledge that it’s time limited), limited in space and participants (so it’s easier to differentiate “on” and “off” the dance floor, e.g. by putting on an act, or not being consistent between interactions). And last, the music sets the topic in a very strong way, making it seem more like a party game.

But otherwise, solving three of the big questions3 about dancing in one easy metaphor and a couple of quick paragraphs, not bad eh? Dance is totally a conversation4. What do you think?

  1. Beaucoup de réponses utiles sur la danse sociale peuvent êtres trouvées en se demandant “Qu’est ce qui se passerait si on était dans une vraie conversation?”

    Premièrement, on verrait qu’on peut danser avec n’importe qui (peu importe leur sexe, genre, corpulence, âge, orientation sexuelle, beauté, origine, etc.) sans forcement chercher à séduire ou y voir une attirance sexuelle (même s’il y a aussi des conversations où ces aspects sont présents).

    Deuxièmement, dans une conversation il n’y a pas de meneur. À la limite, il y a une prise d’initiative du choix ou du changement de sujet de conversation. Même s’il peut y avoir des situations où une personne parle et l’autre écoute en hochant de la tête, à la longue c’est plus intéressant pour tout le monde si les deux sont actifs.

    Enfin, une conversation c’est en général pas du grand Art. Mais il y a quand meme quelquechose de fantastique dans l’art de bien participer à une conversation, de dire la bonne chose au bon moment, de savoir écouter, de pas débarquer avec l’anecdote qu’on voulait absolument raconter alors que le sujet de conversation à changé. Bref, apporter du plaisir, dans l’instant contingent, c’est quand même de l’art. ↩

  2. partnered, social dance ↩

  3. The question of the roles of lead and follow has notably been addressed in a conversation unintentionally launched by Bobby White and summarized by Jerry Almonte.

    The question of gender, sexuality, leading and following is complex and is adressed in a number of posts linked to by Sarah Carney and probably many other places. Also one of my least favorite articles ever, Queer Tango is described with a refusal to admit that partner choice dancing can be free from considerations of sexuality. This post modulated to the idea that if the intimacy is non-sexual, we might be willing to seek it outside of our sexual preference (just as when we dance we don’t only dance with people we are sexually attracted to, even if they are of the “correct” sex) pretty much reflects my feeling about partner dance in general - rather surprising in a blog which otherwise believes that “women bear children and raise them, men protect and provide”.

    For art and dancing, I’m reminded of a post by Tango dancer Melina Sedo, in which I comment under the name TatianaSoftware. ↩

  4. To be fair, I pretty much beg the question in this post and any “but in dance, shouldn’t we also have this happen” criticisms will be answered “yeah, but I’ve already decided dance is a conversation, so… no”. In related news, playing music together is also a conversation. ↩